Day 1 - Cipralex Diaries

My doctor was very cool about talking about depression and what I was going through. I was half-expecting a 'pull up your socks man' type response but he totally normalized my situation. He asked the fundamental questions re my moods, the background, thoughts of suicide etc. He professionally advised the 2 courses of treatment for my depressed state; medication and/or therapy. I told him that I'm all for talking to somebody but if what I'm going through is really a chemical issue then I want to know that I've tried the medication route as well. I can talk and talk about the whys and hows and the coping mechanisms but what I'm feeling right now in my head is so beyond emotional soul searching and talking. It's a real pain in my brain that's nagging at me. Sure there are issues I can look at in my dysfunctional upbringing that have coded me to react to different life situations in a certain way but recognizing this and coping with it seem so easy compared to dealing with the numbing pain in my brain.

Doc set me up with a therapist and I asked to be prescribed something to see if I could feel happy again in my head. He was pretty quick to offer up Cipralex as my option, 10 mg per day. I enquired as to its addiction potential and he said none. He put me on them for a month to see how it goes. He advised that it could take 2-4 weeks to start seeing the benefits. I'm not due to see the therapist for another 3 weeks so I'm glad I opted for the medication route as well - I couldn't have taken another 3 weeks of walking around like a zombie. 

I got my pack of pills, read the intense missive of possible side effects and took my first one. No second thoughts at the time. I called the wife to let her know that I was now 'on Prozac' - it had been an old joke for years... She was surprised that I was starting on medication so soon - she's more of a talker than a drug type and was relieved to hear that I was also going to start seeing someone as well. Only after I took my first dose did I start to research Cipralex online for side effects and pros/cons of the drug. Google came up with a lot of crap. I kind of wish I hadn't delved into it too much because reading all the forums can make you paranoid - a simple cough and you think that's Cipralex dry throat; wow now I've got Cipralex gas, man I feel dizzy from the Cipralex.

I felt relieved I had taken something - to be honest a pack of placebos might have done the trick for me. Just knowing that I was making a move to clearing my head put me in a calmer place with my wife and kids. So is the earth moving? No, but it feels like a better place already. I went to the gym for an hour and didn't pass out or throw up.

By the end of the day I have a bit of a headache, kind of a really slight freezing headache.